The Princely Luther Burger

This past weekend I attended the Ex - which to you non Torontoites is the Canadian National Exhibition - and pretty much gorged myself on disgusting and unhealthy food. At the very top of that list was the Luther Burger - otherwise known as the infamous Krispy Kreme doughnut burger. This culinary delight consists of two (2!) Krispy Kreme doughnuts, a burger patty, American cheese, a slice of tomato and a piece of ice burg lettuce. You can add on to the burger with a couple slices of bacon and a fried egg.

This is a burger of legend. Something seen only on the Paula Deen tv show or written about in foodie books as the kind of food you would ever allow touch your discernible palate. It is, after all, the lowest of the low brow foods. But nevertheless, it arrived in Toronto. And it has made a splash unlike anything I've seen at the fair before. Even the much talked about chocolate covered bacon from a few years ago didn't get this much attention. A whole burger stand was created in the food building just for this mouth watering morsel of a sandwich.

And I had one.

In fact - since I went to the fair twice, I actually had one and a half.

And I am claiming here and now - as a man who has eaten his fair share of burgers in an attempt to find the perfect burger - that this was the best burger I've ever eaten. There is something about the otherworldly sweetness of the doughnuts combined with the super salty mixture of the beef and the bacon that just makes it sublime. Added onto that is the way the cheese melts so perfectly into the meat and is slowly absorbed by the doughnut - perfection.

But you see, in order to have a perfect burger. You need to have really good meat. And they deliver. This is some of the highest quality beef I've ever had at a fair. It is rich, but not too rich. Meaty. An amazing taste. Cooked to that perfect state. It kind of melts in your mouth as you take a bite. They really did not cut any corners in regards to the meat. This is not MacDonald's quality beef - no, it's gourmet grade beef. The stuff a burger foodie, like myself, dreams about.

And - call me crazy here - I actually think the use of ice berg lettuce is amazing here. It has this crunch that is just whoa! You bite in and as your teeth passes through that first layer of sweet from the doughnut it slams into the crunch of the lettuce and your whole mouth explodes - it adds to the flavor, it cleans your palate and your taste buds, getting them ready for the meat. And just as your are recovering, you encounter that rich deep taste of the tomato. Then the beef. And just as your mouth is in overdrive from all these different tastes sensations, you hit the sweet again.

Seriously... it is without a doubt, the best burger I ever ate.

I even included a picture! I took it myself, seconds before my first bite.

August Breakfast

One of the things I really love about August is the fruit that's in season. I love that you can buy fresh Ontario peaches and fresh Ontario blueberries, both of which are usually juicy, sweet, and delicious. Recently, on a whim, I decided to cut up a peach put it with some blueberries into an already-cooked bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, and I discovered that the end result was almost sort of kind of like fresh fruit pie or crumble. I mean, yes, it's obviously not pie or crumble, but it's much, much better for my blood sugar than actual pie or crumble, and I still get to savour some of the delights of the season in a medium other than whole fruit (which I also love -- don't get me wrong).

Also, I bought my first basket of Ontario yellow plums the other day. So excited!

Also also, chocolate chip oatmeal cookies rock my world.

The Battle for the Caramel Macchiato

Now, I know what you're going to say when you read this: "Dear lord, what is wrong with this person... could this post be any more of a white whine." And you're right...it is completely a white whine, but I'm totally owning it, so it's all cool. At least that's what I'm telling myself so I can sleep at night.

I have recently (last night) experienced a moment of Starbucks ennui. After politely ordering a decaf skinny caramel macchiato, which is one of my guilty pleasure drinks, I went to wait by the barista bar for my drink to arrive. And I waited. The barista first started to make me a full caf, which she quickly stopped. Then somehow my drink magically became a vanilla latte...not at all what I ordered...in fact, I am quite sure that the guy who got the vanilla latte that my drink became actually got some strange concoction that was a mix of a macchiato and a latte...I really hope he didn't drink it, I can't even imagine what that tasted like.

So when she then called my drink...which for some reason she thought was a vanilla latte...I politely said, "No. I ordered a skinny decaf caramel macchiato." She looked very confused. But set about making another drink...five minutes later, she handed me a new drink. A vanilla latte. I again, shook my head. Smiled a smile that was now rather forced and said, "No. I ordered a Decaf. Skinny. Caramel. Macchiato." She again looked really confused. Looked at the drink, looked at me. Then nodded and went about making my drink.

Watching her make a caramel macchiato was...horrifying! I have made hundreds of them in my time as a barista...and I've never over filled a cup. I've certainly never handed a customer the wrong drink TWICE.

I'm not entirely sure what the drink was that I got...it kind of tasted like a caramel macchiato. But not really. It was certainly NOT skinny. It had 2% written all over it. Totally was not decaf and really really was not sugar free. I felt like I was on some kind of crazy roller coaster after drinking that...

So, to the dear brand new barista at Starbucks, I promise I am not upset at you. I've been there. I know how stressful it is. But really honey...when there's just two customers at the bar...a Starbucks classic like the caramel macchiato should not be too much of a brain teaser.

Next time, I think I'll just follow other people's example and order a tea. But not a tea latte...she screwed that one up too.

Thank you for indulging me in my white whine. I promise not to complain too much...

Well great, now I want a coffee.

Alig8tor's Quest

The quest began many, many years ago, and ends ONLY when I have found the best sticky toffee pudding on Earth. And by Earth I mean, in Toronto.

That's right -- sticky toffee pudding. That delectable mound of moist cake smothered in warm toffee sauce and bathing in custard. At least, that's what it SHOULD be. But if you live in Toronto circa 2011, sticky toffee pudding seems to be a dry, solid brick of sponge cake with a pathetic drizzle of toffee and sometimes vanilla (VANILLA?!) coulis, garnished with fruit and whipped cream (c'mon -- FRUIT?!)

The quest began in the homeland, with the best sticky toffee pudding found somewhere in the Lake District, or maybe it was somewhere near Sheffield. It doesn't matter, because all that matters now is that I am here, in Toronto, and searching, yet again, for the best sticky toffee pudding. And I'm 0 for 3 -- Both the Ben Wicks Pub and Pogue Mahone served the disappointing dry brick I described above, and the Pepperwood Bistro in Burlington (let's call this a cross-Ontario search) had similar fare.

Onwards and upwards, friends. Suggestions welcome!

It's alive!

Nerdy things are afoot... stay tuned for restaurant and food reviews, as well as general ranting!